While South Africa boasts progressive constitutional protections for LGBTQI rights, a significant gap remains between legal equality and lived experiences, particularly in rural communities. Against this backdrop, organisations like Parents, Families and Friends of South African Queers (PFSAQ) work to bridge the divide between families and their LGBTQI children, creating powerful spaces of acceptance and healing. Through events like Pride in South Africa, these organisations demonstrate how family support can transform both individual lives and broader community attitudes toward LGBTQI acceptance.
“For me, as an activist and social justice advocate, I understand Pride as a protest. It is an opportunity for us to ignite activism around our human rights as LGBTQI people,” shares Virginia Magwaza, the Executive Director of PFSAQ, a South African organisation dedicated to promoting acceptance, understanding, and inclusion for LGBTQI individuals and their families.
For Pride, Virginia spoke with us about Pride in South Africa, the transformative power of parental love, and how families are becoming some of the most effective advocates for LGBTQI rights across Southern Africa.
Can you tell us about Pride in South Africa and how it differs from Pride celebrations in other parts of the world?
For us, Pride has become an opportunity for LGBTQI people to come together and enjoy themselves in a safe space where they can be who they are. Because in Africa, June is very cold, we don’t have many Pride events then, so we regard June as International Pride Month. Between September and October is when we have our African Pride Month, as the first Pride that took place in Africa was in Johannesburg on 13th October 1990.
It was led by two very prominent activists. One of them, Simon Nkoli, has passed away, and the other is a lesbian woman named Dr. Beverley Ditsie. We have different provinces, and some provinces like KwaZulu-Natal, which isn’t very cold even in winter, hold their Pride in June. So some people enjoy Pride in June, but most of our Prides happen around September and October.
“For us, Pride has become an opportunity for LGBTQI people to come together and enjoy themselves in a safe space where they can be who they are.“
What does the concept of Pride mean both to you personally, as well as to the community in South Africa?
For me, as an activist and social justice advocate, I understand Pride as a protest. It is an opportunity for us to ignite activism around our human rights as LGBTQI people. It ensures our visibility, provides a safe space, and makes our voices heard.
In South Africa, we have the liberty to organise Pride events and many other activities related to LGBTQI people. However, in other countries, people are unable to organise Pride because of restrictive laws. Therefore, they develop different strategies to organise activities that create that same Pride atmosphere, ensuring LGBTQI people can come together and be who they are. So Pride for me is also an opportunity to pledge solidarity with those unable to have Pride in their countries.
There’s still a challenge because many people, especially young people, don’t have the correct concept of what Pride is. For them, it’s just a celebration: drinking, smoking, and having fun. Fortunately, in South Africa, we have an organisation that maintains the political aspect of Pride, the Forum for the Empowerment of Women, who organise one of the biggest Prides in Johannesburg called Soweto Pride. Before the celebration, there’s a political component that reminds us why we do Pride, reminds us of our privilege in being able to have Pride, and how we pledge solidarity with those who cannot.
Different organisations participate in Pride, and we’ve managed to bring organisations that aren’t LGBTQI organisations but are allies to the LGBTQI cause. This allows us to highlight the intersectionality of struggles during Pride. The organisation I lead, Parents, Families and Friends of South African Queers, brings parents into the space and highlights the fact that an LGBTQI person is more likely to feel pride when accepted by their parents and family members. For me, it’s not just a one-day event, but a day when all the issues we’ve worked on throughout the year come together, building a strong, collective voice.
You mentioned how PFSAQ brings parents to Pride in South Africa. Could you elaborate on the activities you do around Pride, whether it’s Pride events or any programmes you run around Pride?
We work collaboratively with both parents and partners alike. Our partners work with faith leaders, traditional leaders, and those in the women’s movement. We organise a Pride week with a series of activities, from community dialogues to arts exhibitions that connect all the struggles people face. This happens the week before Soweto Pride, which is on 27th September this year, to highlight that it’s Pride week and to mobilise people to attend Pride.
This year, our strategy at Parents, Families and Friends of South African Queers is to run a campaign encouraging fathers to accept their children. We’ve built a group of fathers in KwaZulu-Natal who are very vibrant and vocal allies of LGBTQI people. Our plan is to bring them to Pride from KZN so they can encourage other fathers and explain why it’s important for male family members to advocate for LGBTQI people’s human rights.
What is the experience like for the parents when they go to Pride and get involved? What does that look like?
We emphasise that parents are at Pride to support. When the Pride march begins, they form a guard of honour, standing on both sides of the road with supportive messages on placards. The march moves forward with parents supporting from behind, at least those who are able to, as some parents are elderly while others are quite young.
Sometimes we offer transport for older parents, but it often goes unused because they get so excited and energetic at Pride that they walk the entire march, which is so sweet. We ensure there are pamphlets available because the purpose is for other parents who are spectators along the route to understand why parents are part of the march. We make sure parents welcome the marchers back to the venue when the march returns.
“The space also becomes somewhere LGBTQI people can talk to parents. Many enjoy talking to older people because they can’t have these conversations with friends.”
After that, we set up what we call a parents’ corner. Parents sit there until three or four in the afternoon, giving hugs and talking to LGBTQI people. Through this process, many queer people come for hugs and share their experiences at home.
I remember one time, someone mentioned their father was a pastor, and when asked which church, they said Methodist Church. One of our parents said, “I’m a member of the Methodist Church. I’ll find your father and speak to him.” She actually did this, telling the pastor, “I was at Pride and met your daughter.” The pastor was initially ashamed.
Fortunately, he belonged to a congregation where LGBTQI people in the Methodist Church were forming what’s called the ‘LGBTI task team’. When we were invited to the task team launch, he was there and much more accepting than before. These individual success stories might be just one for the whole day, but they’re very important to us.
The space also becomes somewhere LGBTQI people can talk to parents. Many enjoy talking to older people because they can’t have these conversations with friends. They confide about their struggles, which allows us to refer them to other services, such as mental health support for those who express suicidal thoughts.
We’re able to say, “This is where you can go. You can’t take your life.” The parents respond, “We are your parents. We are here. We love you. Whenever you need that love, just come. We are always there for you.” It becomes a very life-giving space.
Through our work, we’ve experienced situations where parents say, “I’ve always had feelings for someone of the same gender. But because we grew up in those days, we couldn’t express ourselves. It warms my heart that our children are free to express themselves. That’s why I’m part of this struggle because I not only want them to express themselves, but want them to live so we can accept their lives as normal without questioning.”
What message would you like to share this Pride with the community in the UK?
I’d like Pride events in countries like the UK to remember that yes, South Africa can have Pride, but there are countries where people cannot have Pride. In programming their Pride events, they should include elements of solidarity with those who cannot celebrate openly.
It’s important to understand that continued support is needed. For us to change minds, to change laws, to change policies, this work must continue. With all the shifts and changes happening, I hope this conversation will help people advocate for continued support. Last month, we reached a rural community in KZN. Next year, we’ll reach another community and save lives.
It’s not just us going there—we save lives. When children aren’t accepted by families, they might commit suicide or become victims of hate crimes. In South Africa, there are many hate crime killings based on lack of information. I want to urge all UK people to please advocate for continued support, because this work is important, crucial, and urgent.
Learn more about Parents, Families and Friends of South African Queers here.